Some of you have watched my videos and have seen that I have a tattoo on my arm. The words "Talitha Koumi" are there as a daily reminder. In Aramaic, they mean, "Little girl, rise up."
All my life, I've never been satisfied with mediocre. I've always wanted to do better, be better, think better, know better, grow better. I always did everything to the max. I've been successful in everything I've tried because failing was never an option. In my own mind, I had risen to the top and I had no doubt that's where I'd fight to stay.
That is until a few years ago... On the outside, I looked pretty darn successful. But, on the inside, I was hurting. I felt defeated. My personal life was a hot mess, my kids were struggling, work was overwhelming, and my brain couldn't process it all. So, I lived in defeat most days. I let the burdens of my life keep me down mentally, physically, and emotionally.
I pretty much walked around like an empty pinata. Bright, beautiful, and exciting on the outside. But on the inside, I was empty. Break me open, and nothing would even spill out. I was living because I was breathing, but I wasn't truly living. I strived to hide the pain that was inside, and I let it bring me to a breaking point.
Then the words "Talitha koumi" spoke to my soul. Little girl, rise up! Don't live in despair, emptiness, anger, bitterness, or defeat. Little girl, rise up and be everything you were meant to be.
Do not let the past define you...Do not let your difficult circumstances snuff out your light... Do not let others tell you who you are.... Do not forget who you want to be.... Don't let lies cloud your truth... Don't live in defeat friend - Little girl, rise up.
You were meant for greatness, you were meant to be more. Don't let yourself get to a point where you are okay being empty inside. Don't let yourself be okay being just okay. Little girl, rise up!
Show this world who you are and what you have inside you just waiting to burst out. Don't accept the voices that call you a failure - squash it and rise up. Don't let your hurt or anger or bitterness kill your spirit - squash it and rise up.
We were not created to be defeated. Little girl, rise up!
9 comments
Girl you made me cry this early!
Oh boy did I need this. My husband died by suicide 4 years ago and It change my world and me. It was his first marriage and my third and I finally found my soulmate my everything and he was. Little did I know he had real issues within himself, he hid it well. Fast forward after I was told what happened I learned he led a life I had no idea. Drugs, drinking he hid it well from me and all of our friends, yes you can function normally. The night before his memorial service my electricity was turned off he had not paid it for months, 30 days later my house was sold at auction again he had not paid it. He had not paid my car insurance so I was driving on a suspended license well I lost my license for a year and could not have a car in my name. HIs family disowned me, all I basically had was my two Labradors, a job and a lot of debt that I had no idea. Moving forward I found an apt that I could have my dogs, bought a junk van in someone else’s name, and got a restricted license to go back and forth to work. I lost my job of 11 years due to lets just say my supervisor had two daughters working under me and well family always wins. That was a blessing I got a job at a gift store the owner had a full time job so I ran it and loved it. A year later she decided to close it wanted me to buy it I have no money so I filled a dream to open a store myself with all handmade items from local Artists on a dream and a prayer.I also met a new group of friends many are local musicians and they are true, good people. My life now is filled with things I love, I talk to strangers every day that come into my store, we share stories and laugh and cry. I am still broke, but I am doing filling a dream of mine, I work my … off I am there 6 day a week but I wouldn’t change it. I can do my crafts there and help other Artists.I am finally ME and it feels good. Thank you Dana I needed to read this to remind myself of what I can do the past couple of days have been a little poopy lol. I love this group and you Dana so thank you for allowing me to be a part of it.
I need this more than you know. My first marriage lasted 21 years. The mental, emotional and narcissistic pain I had to deal with pre-wedding and the next 21 years took its toll and depression set in in such a way, my mother had to come and stay with me for six weeks. I still have the scars and most people think “look at her she has it all” when all I am doing is crying on the inside. Jesus brought into my life my second husband, who is my earthly rock, the love of my life, my best friend and so much more. He helps me each and everyday to try and realize the love I should have for myself, but most importantly I am worthy is the eyes of The Lord. So ass you said “ we are not created too be defeated…so rise up little girl…RISE UP🙏🙏🙏
Uggh. This one hits way too close to home. I’ve spent most of my life being empty on the inside, but no one ever knew what I was going through because I hid it from everyone with smiles, accomplishments, laughter. Even my own family had no idea. I couldn’t let myself cry or feel because I knew I would break, and I didn’t know if I could put myself back together again. So I kept pretending. Kept pushing, kept being marvelous, kept astonishing people. And each accolade was empty because it was a lie. Inside I was still empty, worthless, alone. Known by everyone, but truly known by none.
My journey to healing myself and rising up started about 6 years ago and continues every day. It’s slow, frustrating, not always moving forward, but at least most days I love myself. Most days I find joy. And I keep rising, because I have hope for myself, hope for the future.